I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
