I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
