why didn't you poke me back
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
