it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
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