If i come over, it means nothing
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
