i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
