i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
