Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
