Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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