im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize