Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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