i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
