I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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