Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
