Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
