If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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