i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
