So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize