the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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