some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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