i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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