Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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