Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
