So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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