It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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