what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
