I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
