Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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