i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
