We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
