you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize