Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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