I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
