I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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