Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
