Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize