She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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