that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
