we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
