My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
