Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
