I can text with my tongue
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
