I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
