are you so shy because you have an std?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
