our cab driver is having phone sex.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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