508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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