guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
