you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
