I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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