There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
