He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
