i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
