I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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