Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
