Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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