You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
