Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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