Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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