Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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