I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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